Well, I think today was the last straw. I am officially miserable. I am going to have nothing but time on my hands all weekend, so I think I am going to sit down, update my resume and start looking for jobs outside of this town. There is nothing for me here. I had made plans earlier in the week with someone for tonight- and guess what? Yeah, thats right. I thought about calling Erika, but whats the point? Rob is working all weekend I'm sure... Amy is working- and even if she wasn't, she wouldn't return my call. I know this because I called her. Brock said he would call me when he got back from vacation at the end of June, and that was 3 weeks ago. I have no reason to stay in Dayton. Of course, the converse of all of this is that even if I moved somewhere else, I would end up in the same situation. I don't think I've ever felt this alone in my life. As miserable as I have been at work this past week, and as much as I am dreading next week, I just want to crawl into bed and wake up and have it be monday. The thought of sitting at home all weekend with nothing to do is just too depressing. I feel trapped. All I want is a couple of friends. Anne is suficing in that respect for the time being, but she of course is out of town all weekend. I should be out mowing my lawn right now, but I'm too depressed. I need to go to the store and get something to eat for dinner, since my dinner plans for the evening were 'canceled' on me. I can't even bring myself to order a pizza at this point. I have some cheez-its and beer, and that will more than likely end up being my evening meal- it will go well with the 2 carrots I had for lunch. My sister is planning on flying up at the end of next month- but she can't afford the ticket. I told her I'd pay for it, and her visit could end up being my B-day present. She didn't understand how my buying her a plane ticket to Dayton could be her gift to me- perhaps now you'll understand, sis. Just having you up here so I'm not alone is all I want for my birthday.

I feel like I'm running out of reasons to get up in the morning.

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