Well, to all of you who really care, I've made a big decision in my life. Emily and I had dinner last night and we're going to try again. It was really good seeing her- she is still as beautiful and funny as she was eight months ago. I didn't know how I would handle it at first, but it was great. We had dinner and went to this quiet little bar here in town that I had been to back in September. Unbeknownst to me, it has become a gay bar. We didn't realize it at first, because we were the only ones in there...but once the crowd started showing up, it became very obvious- we had a great time, though. Definately a night to remember. We talked a lot about what happened and how we've been feeling since. Emily has always been very open about her feelings, and I tend to keep mine bottled up. What I love about her is that she won't let me. She keeps prodding until I open up and actually tell her what I want and how I feel. I've never been able to be as open or honest about who I am with anyone else as I am with her. I think I need someone like her who is going to push me and chalenge me as a person. I am going to be making some big changes in my life- I am going to stop smoking for starters. Emily didn't ask me to, but I think that has been a crutch I have been relying on for far too long, and I need to stand on my own. I also don't know how much longer I am going to keep this diary. I feel like a somewhat dark chapter in my life is coming to an end, and for better or worse, this diary has been a part of it. I guess time will tell.....

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