I found out something new yesterday: Complete lack of emotion is what qualifies someone as a male. If I possess emotions, I am by default a female- regardless of the testicles and penis thing. And to think- for the past 28 years, I�ve been using the wrong public bathrooms! I�m still not quite sure how to break the news to my girlfriend that she is in fact a lesbian. Perhaps that is why her and I get along so well. Tomorrow I am going to stop by the DMV and get a new driver�s license that accurately reflects my gender. I�m sure they�ll be a little confused seeing as how I grow facial hair, but I will just explain to them that unlike all other males, I actually do posses emotions, and ergo, am female. At first I was a little depressed by this turn of events. I am not too happy about having to replace my entire wardrobe. The thought crossed my mind that I might be able to borrow some from Emily, but she�s about 6 inches shorter than me, so that wouldn�t work. So yeah, that�s gonna be expensive. But, at the same time, I am very much looking forward to growing breasts. I�ve always kinda wanted to know what its like having those there. Knowing me, I�ll probably never leave the house again. I�ll just sit in bed fondling them all day. I am also quite relieved to never really have to worry about �making the first move� anymore. I was never comfortable doing that as a so-called man, and this way, I can just sit back and give come hither looks at people I find attractive. Its also going to take a while to grow my hair out. I thought about leaving it the way it is, but I really don�t want to look like a dike. Perhaps I�ll buy a wig while I wait for it to grow out. All that being said, I am REALLY not looking forward to the whole menstruation thing. It really makes me shudder. Damn, the more I think about it, the more I am having second thoughts about all of this. Between the fact that I�ll loose my penis (which I have grown very attached to) and the whole ovulating thing- cramps, bloating, menstruation- and having to buy all new clothes, maybe I�ll be better off just ditching the emotions all together and be a man- an emotionless, completely logical being with no regard for anyone else�s feelings. It may take some getting use to being a complete asshole ALL the time, but I�m sure with a little practice I�ll get the hang of it. Meaningless sex, here I come!

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