I would like to call my next witness- a brussel sprout
2005-03-21, 11:41 a.m.

Typical Republicans. When the State judge presiding over Terri Schiavo�s fate rebuked Congress� attempt to have a vegetable subpoenaed, they pass legislation to have the case moved to Federal Court. The New Republican Motto: �When things don�t go your way, just change the rules!� While Congress can�t balance the budget, can�t make Social Security solvent, can�t fix the health care crisis in this country, they are somehow able, at the drop of hat, to quickly pass legislation for the sole purpose of keeping a brain dead woman in Florida alive. I know a few of you have written in on this subject, but make no mistake- she is a vegetable. Every single doctor she has been through has come to the same conclusion: pretty much the only thing she is capable of doing is breathing. Respiratory functions are controlled by a portion of your brain that is completely independent of those required for cognitive thought, emotional response, etc etc. And for the record, here is what that means, exactly: According to the National Institute for Neurological Disorders and Stroke people in PVS(persistent vegetative state) "have lost their thinking abilities and awareness of their surroundings, but retain non-cognitive function and normal sleep patterns. So while she can still breath on her own, her brain activity is basically nil. So yeah, Congressional Republicans ordered Terri Schiavo, who has been in a �persistent vegetative state� for the past 15 fucking years, to testify before a Congressional hearing. You see, if she�s under subpoena, the doctors can�t just let her die- she obviously needs to testify against something! Now, if you�re anything like me, at this point you�re wondering, �What exactly is a brain dead person going to testify against?� I thought long and hard about this, but I just couldn�t think of anything. But, I guess I�m not as smart as a Congressman- they must know something that neurosurgeons and doctors don�t about people who lack brain activity. I didn�t realize that she was still capable of speech and cognitive thought- which of course would be necessary for her to testify. Apparently, the state judge didn�t realize that, in fact, Terri is still capable of rational thought and communication, so he ruled that Congress had no authority to subpoena Mrs. Schiavo. Thank goodness those uber-intelligent Republicans thought of a way to avert this terrible disaster! They just wrote a law saying that they would pick a new judge! I personally can�t wait to hear what Terri has to say when she appears before that Congressional hearing.

And for those of you unfamiliar with how our Government works, Congress writes the laws, and Judges are responsible for their interpretation and execution. So this judge, based on laws passed by Congress, decreed that Congress didn�t have the authority to have her subpoenaed. Congress then threw a hissy fit because it didn�t get its way and passed another law to have that asshole judge booted off the case. Does anyone else see the problem with this scenario?

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