Just and FYI, Emily is OK. The doctor thinks it�s just an eptopic lump of breast tissue. He wants to have it removed, but there isn�t any serious urgency.

I was reading someone else�s diary yesterday and it got me thinking about my dad.
I�m not quite sure if I had mentioned earlier that my dad and I have spoken a few times since the whole Paula-Reading-My-Diary incident. He up and called not too long ago, and we spoke briefly. I was rather shocked to hear from him, and I was actually about to leave the house, so I told him I�d call him the next day. I did, and we spoke for about 10 minutes about absolutely nothing. I know he wanted to bring up the diary-reading, but didn�t. Finally, the third time we spoke, he did mention it. True to form, he tried to lay most of the blame on me. In summation, he said I really shouldn�t be writing anything online that I don�t want other people reading, and that I had basically set myself up for this. He mentioned the watch incident and was still sticking to his story that he found it on sale, and chastised me for being petty enough to get upset about the price. �I�m not going to try and �buy� your affection�, he said. There were several things I wanted to say to him about that, but you have to understand how things have always been with my dad and I- he tends to be very domineering, and I usually try to avoid confrontation. So rather than telling him that it wasn�t the price of the gift that upset me- it was the disparity between what he spent on me (100 dollars) and what he spent on my sister (300+)- I didn�t say anything. He told me that I should write Paula a letter and apologize for what I wrote. I had in fact already considered doing that. What I didn�t tell him was that I would also like to write one to him as well, since I find it difficult to confront him over the phone or in person.
Anyway, so we�d talked a few times here and there. My sister told him one day that he needed to call me, and that I had something to tell him- namely that I was engaged. So when he called and I told him this, we were on phone for all of 3 minutes when his other line rang. Rather than even checking to see who it was, he abruptly told me he�d call me later- that he had another call coming through. So basically, talking to his son about his engagement and learning something about his fianc� whom he had never met was less important than a phone call from anyone else. Hell, it could have been someone calling him trying to sell aluminum siding- it didn�t matter. At that point, a phone call from anyone else was more important- any excuse to get off the phone was a good one. A few days later, I was talking to my mom and she told me that she had spoken with my father and that he has asked her several questions about Emily, and that he seemed very pleased and excited. If he wants to know about her, why doesn�t he ask me? The next time he and I spoke after he called me mom, he didn�t even mention Emily. Not one question, comment, adulation- nothing. Now, to that point, I had been doing most of the calling. I figured it was his turn to make the effort if he wanted to talk. That was roughly 6 weeks ago, and I haven�t heard from him since. He of course has called my mom and told her that we haven�t spoken for a while. I then told my mom that he knows how to work a phone just as well as I. What bothers me most is that he feels the need to use my mom as some sort of arbitrator to communicate with me. He knows that she�ll tell me he called and asked about me and how I am doing. I suppose in some bizarro way, to him, that is a way to stay in touch. Some things never change, I guess. It was the same way when they were married and I was much, much younger. My mom was the one who had the pulse of how my sister and I were doing and what was going on in our lives. My dad found out through asking her. I don�t really fault him for it, really. He was always at work and we rarely saw him. When my sister and I were growing up, that emotional connection was never made. Now that we�re older, it just seems so hard to make that connection. All I know at this point is that its going to take a lot more than him going through my mom to get there.

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