Awareness Bands
2005-07-28, 10:10 a.m.

I don�t know about all of you, but I�m getting pretty god damn tired of seeing all of these bullshit awareness wristbands everywhere. While I can completely agree with the idea of raising awareness, this has gotten way too out of hand. OK, we get it- you're for cancer awareness. Congratulations. I sincerely consider you to be a better person now. Just why you felt the need to broadcast to everyone that you�re a superficially concerned citizen is beyond me, however. You buy a yellow �awareness� band for 2 dollars and a portion of that money goes to cancer research, right? But do you know how much of that money is being donated? 50%? 25%? 10%? If you were really that concerned, wouldn�t you just mail a check for 2 dollars to the American Cancer Society and cut out the middleman? Of course not, because you didn�t buy the wristband because you�re genuinely, actively concerned about cancer- you just want everyone to think you are. I�m sure I�m going to piss some people off on here who probably wear these things, but oh well. I find it so typical of this country to pull shit like this. Why actually put forth the effort to make a difference when you can look like you do for a lot less time and effort? Buy a magnet or a bumper sticker for your car, a circle of rubber for your wrist and you can pretend like you�re doing your part. You can pretend like you�re making a difference- and more importantly, everyone who sees you will think that you�re doing your part and that you�re making a difference. People buy those magnets for their cars because they �support our troops�. Well, if you really supported our troops, you wouldn�t be wasting money on a tacky magnet for the back of your car. You�d be out advocating for higher veteran�s pensions, more body armor for the soldiers and better medical care at VA hospitals. Instead, you're lining the pocket of some shrewd businessman who donates $1 out of every $50 he makes selling those pieces of shit. My point here is that people don�t buy these because they genuinely believe in the cause. They buy them for the attention. They buy them so they can let everyone else know that they really �care�. What ever happened to selflessly giving your time and energy to these causes? Do you think the people who spend their weekends in cancer wards, soup kitchens, and rehab centers feel the need to broadcast to everyone how much they�ve sacrificed for the betterment of their community? Of course not- they�re too busy actually making a difference. Now, I�m sure that these wristband people genuinely DO care- just not enough to really do anything about it. Hell, I feel bad for cancer victims as much as the next guy, but at least I admit that I�m too lazy and self absorbed to donate my time and money to help them. And outside of the owner�s need to proclaim their self-importance, what are these wristbands trying to raise awareness for, anyway? �Ah! That guy is wearing a red wristband! I am now aware of his need to draw attention to himself. Thank you, Red Wristband, for making me aware of that.� There are so many different wristbands out now that I don�t even know what any of them stand for anymore. I thought the yellow ones were for cancer awareness. But then I saw a yellow one that was for platelet donation, and another that said �support our troops�, and another that said 'remember the pope.' Pink ones are for breast cancer, but are the red ones for AIDS awareness or to donate blood? I�ve seen both. There are so many of these stupid things now that they�ve run out of fucking colors. So if I see you on the street with a blue wristband, are you trying to raise awareness for muscular dystrophy, tolerance, tsunami relief, or mucoplysacharide disease? (Yes, there is a blue wristband for mucopolysacharide disease.) Chances are, you don�t really care if I know what it is your advocating anyway- just so long as I know you�re advocating something, and are therefore a better person. Has anyone come out with an Irritable Bowel Syndrome wristband yet? If not, I think I will. It�ll be diarrhea brown with flecks of yellow and will raise awareness amongst everyone of the terrible plight those of us with IBS must live through. We can pass each other on the street and feel an instant connection- share a knowing smile- filled with warmth from knowing they too live with sudden urges to crap buckets of rusty water. Of course, raising awareness of IBS may be kind of a moot point. I�m sure that due to the diminutive size and poor ventilation of my office area, the people I work with are already well are of it.

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