So I am now stuck with a real dilemma. I talked with my dad yesterday about the situation with Paula. She doesn�t see the apology in the letter I wrote her, and in some ways is even more upset now because I didn�t expressly say �I�m sorry�. Or something. I�ve gone back through and re-read what I sent her several times to find out why she was so insulted with what I wrote. Yes, I could have worded things better and expressed in a more direct way that I am sorry I wrote those things. I do understand why she is upset with me. My dad thinks I should call her and talk to her in person since the letter obviously didn�t get the proper message across. I really wouldn�t have any trouble calling her and apologizing- if for no other reason than to make things easier on my dad. He�s been stuck in the middle of this for the better part of a year now. The problem is, I really don�t think it would do any good. Granted, I�ll probably do it anyway so I can at least say I tried. But assuming for a moment that her and I talk and we �make up�, I don�t really see anything changing. I still won�t want to visit them in their house, and I know she won�t want me there, either. I just wouldn�t feel welcome. So how is that different from the way things are now? The last time I called to apologize to Paula (for taking a bottle of wine out of their cellar without permission) she never even told my dad I called. She told him I took some, he called me and told me I needed to apologize (which I did as soon as I got off the phone with him), and then my dad wandered around for a week wondering why I hadn�t apologized. He called me the following week and chastised me for not calling her, at which point I explained to him I called her the minute he and I got off the phone with him the week before. I just get a really bad feeling that she�s dragging this out on purpose. She WANTS there to be something wrong- something to get between us. Now, I realize that I said some really nasty things on here about her that I had no justification in writing. That being said, when she read them, why didn�t she come to me? Why didn�t she ask me for an explanation? Instead, she went to my dad, who in turn went off the deep end and told me he lost all faith in me as a decent human being. Neither of them asked why I wrote those things or why I felt as angry as I did. Neither seemed to care at all about the invasion of my privacy. My point is that Paula and I are both adults, and whoever she feels is to blame for all of this, shouldn�t she be able to suck it up and make an effort to put this in the past? If for no other reason then my dad! I basically blame her for invading my privacy, but I�m willing to ignore that and apologize to her for my dad�s sake. Shouldn�t she be willing to do the same? But like I said- even if she was willing to do that, I don�t really see things changing- not now. Not after this has turned into such a shit storm. Had we all (myself included) handled this like adults, it would all be water under the bridge right now. However, we�ve all managed to make a mountain out of a molehill at this point and I�m afraid it�s too late. Instead of reluctantly accepting the apology I sent, regardless if it was what she wanted, she gets even more upset and actually told my dad that the only reason I am trying to apologize now is because I want money for the wedding. Now, if that isn�t someone deliberately adding fuel to the fire, I don�t know what is.

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