I�m not going to get into all of the drama and soap opera -esque events of the past couple of months because, frankly, it�s embarrassing. It�s embarrassing and it�s complicated and I don�t really fee like getting into it. Instead, I�ll talk about the random stroke of luck the world was blessed with yesterday when a 13 year old boy in Paraguay was trampled to death by an elephant after climbing into its open-air cage at the zoo to feed it a mango. I know what you�re thinking- that doesn�t seem very lucky for the 13 year old boy, but to the rest of us, it truly is a blessing. It�s a blessing because the kid voluntarily removed himself from the gene pool before reaching the maturity to procreate and further infest the population with his retardedness. It may seem cruel- it may seem heartless, but as a firm believer in the process of evolution and the survival of the fittest, I can�t help but feel a certain level of satisfaction in seeing the circle of life role right over a kid obviously lacking the common sense to benefit the rest of mankind. With all of our technological advances, humans have bastardized the natural order of things by spending precious resources in order to keep people alive who otherwise would be dead and buried- finally doing something useful with their existence by fertilizing the earth through their own decomposition. So it is with a certain level of satisfaction that I read about someone stupid enough to slip through those technological life preservers we�ve thrown into the gene pool and drown themselves anyway.

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