So who all has seen the cover of the latest Vanity Fair? Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson are on the cover- nude. With them is a clothed man, nuzzling Knightley�s ear.
Apparently, Vanity Fair is taking a lot of flak for the photograph. Writing in Salon.com, Rebecca Traister called it an "over-the-top orgy of self-love, misogyny and idiocy." Other adjectives being thrown around are, "ridiculous ... egotistical ... absurd." Siobhan Burns, a New Yorker in her mid-30's who reads the magazine in her office said, "and why, in 2006, do women still have to take their clothes off and look pouty, rather than being heralded for their accomplishments?" BECAUSE IT SELLS, YOU DUMBASS! Vanity Fair spokeswoman Beth Kseniak said it's too early to say how the magazine is selling, but that it has scored about 3,000 new subscriptions and almost 5 million web site page views. Any more questions, Ms. Burns? I guess I just don�t understand why so many people are in a tizzy over this whole thing. Sex sells. That has been a fact of marketing since marketing was marketing. Then of course there are the people who quip that the guy on the cover should be naked, too. Why? Why should he be naked? Do naked guys sell magazines? Just look at the sales of Playboy vs. Playgirl and try to argue that naked guys sell magazines. It is simply an irrefutable fact: Guys like looking at naked girls infinitely more than girls like looking at naked guys. In fact, I think one could argue that a lot of girls would rather look at other naked girls rather than naked guys. I remember an old episode of Seinfeld when Elaine was trying to explain to Jerry why naked �isn�t a good look for guys�. �Women are beautiful works of art... Guys are utilitarian- like a jeep.� Now while I am a little biased on this, I agree completely. Men just look at women in a much more sexual way than women do men. Now I know some of you women may disagree, but that just shows how little you know about the way the male mind works. Think about how often you think about men in a sexual way- visualizing coworkers, thinking about sex with your partner, people who aren�t your partner, past partners, etc etc etc. Multiply that by 10, and you may be close. Ask any married guy what their biggest complaint about their marriage is and I�d be willing to bet my left nut that 9 out of 10 would say, �Not enough sex.� Its in our genes- we can�t help it. Most men who cheat on their spouses do so simply because its more sex- or more specifically, sex with someone new- a chance to see someone else naked and insert their penis in them. Women cheat primarily not because they are just dying to get laid more, but because they�re unhappy with some other aspect of their marriage. So when I read indignant little comments like that of Ms. Burns lamenting on why these actresses can�t appear on the cover simply due to their acting abilities, I would love to point out that Ms. Johansson and Ms. Knightley agreed to be in the shoot knowing full well they would be sans clothes. And that despite their relative ages of 21 and 20, obviously know a hell of a lot more about what gets noticed than the above mentioned New Yorker who is wishing for an ideal word in which men are all castrated at birth and start acting more like women.
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