So here I am, starting my new job in Fort Wayne, Indiana. So far so good for the most part. The people I work with are all really nice, albeit simple for the most part. They�re mainly local grown, so all they really know is Indiana. There is one guy in particular that has really piqued my interest, however. His name is Doug. Doug was born and raised around here, and looks very much the part. Being a corn-fed Midwesterner, Doug is a big boy- probably 6�2� and well over 200 lbs. and was in the armed forces. Here is what I find amazing about him, though: Doug has the biggest, hairiest uni-brow I�ve ever seen this side of a caveman exhibit at the National History Museum. It�s amazing. It�s epic. The coarse, black hairs of his eyebrows continue virtually uninterrupted from temple to temple. Even more mind boggling than the sheer volume of hair between his eyes is the fact that the Neanderthal is actually married...with children. He doesn�t have any pictures of his wife at his desk, but I can�t help but wonder what she must look like. I mean, I wouldn�t think a female of even average esthetics would willingly date this man, let alone marry him, so I keep visualizing some big boned woman with a name like Helga who has a giant mole on her neck and missing front teeth. And what�s more, I thought women usually enjoyed dusting off unkempt men and transforming them into something respectable. So assuming for a moment that Mrs. Doug had been able to look past the continuous line of hair on her husband�s forehead and see some sort of potential, wouldn�t she then make him wax, pluck or shave it off? I guess what this boils down to is that when I look at Doug and his astonishing uni-brow, I look at it as a reflection on his wife. Is that wrong? Is it wrong that I place the responsibility of maintaining this grown man�s appearance on his wife? I don�t think it is because in most a cases, I would argue that the wife cares more about her husband�s appearance than he does. So using this criteria, I have deducted that Doug�s wife is probably some sort of mountain troll or a sasquach.

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