Barbie Dog
2006-09-07, 2:06 p.m.

You�ve probably seen commercials for this�or actually, you probably haven�t unless you have kids who watch Nickelodeon� or unless YOU watch Nickelodeon, in which case you seriously need to stop watching Sponge Bob and get a life- you�re an adult, for Christ�s sake! But I saw this commercial earlier this week and I couldn�t believe they would actually make this thing. It�s a Barbie Doll that comes with a little pet dog named Tanner. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, right?

But take a look at the accessories she comes with. That is a pooper scooper in her right hand. You can feed the dog little plastic treats, and it will proceed to crap them out for Barbie to pick them up. Just what every little girl wants to do- play make believe picking up dog shit. I would love to have been a fly on the wall in that product development meeting. Someone actually pitched this idea, and conference room of executives actually thought it was a good enough idea to give it a green light. �I think we should make a pet dog for Barbie that actually drops little pretend doo doo that she can pick up! Our marketing research has shown that eight year old girls would really like to play with cute little doggie poo.� I personally don�t think they�ve gone far enough with this idea. If these girls are wanting to emulate adulthood and responsibility badly enough to want to pick up dog droppings, I think they should have made the Barbie poo smell like real dog poo. In fact, send these eager beavers over to my house- I�ve got a yard full of real-life landmines laid by two 60 lb dogs. Let them pick up that shit.

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