I called Yoshi today and told her I couldn't keep dating her. Basically citing reasons previously mentioned and painfully obvious- just not to her. There is just no way I am going to wait around in vain hope of her getting over her neuroses about sex. I'd have better luck playing pick-up-sticks with my butt checks than getting anywhere with her. Christ, she couldn't even jerk me off. Said her arm was getting too tired- and she's a fuckin' proffesional violinist! You'd think she would have resilliant wrists.... I do hope her and I can maintain some sort of pleutonic relationship, though. I seriously do- and told her so. She said she'd think about it. Somehow I get the impression she'll tell me to stick it up my ass- which is ok I guess, since there was no chance of sticking anything into her. Its actually kind of nice knowing someone in town that knows a thing or two about the world, though- hard to come by in the cultural black hole that is Dayton, Ohio. We'll see what she decides. Shit, she couldn't have gotten that attached already- we'd only been 'dating' for a couple of weeks.

On a lighter note, after the movie last night with Anne, we kissed- albeit after an unbelievably lame-ass awkward moment caused by yours truely. I truly am pathetic when it comes to that. A little self confidence wouldn't hurt on my part. I must have been dropping ass when they were handing out backbones. I wonder what I would think of myself were I able to step back and observe from a third party perspective...Prob just shake my head in disgust and walk away. For some reason I don't think this degree of self loathing is going to help matters much.

So I have basically traded in one girl I didn't really like for another that I don't really like- but now I at least have the possibilty of sex in the near future.

I'm going to hell.

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