So Emily and I took Riley (her son) to see Hark Tale at the dollar theatre last night. You know you're in for a miserable 90 minutes when the lady in front of you buying tickets has dollar bills safety pinned to her shirt. I mean, what the fuck? Is that a fashion statement so we all know you're not COMPLETELY broke? Who in the hell pins money to their shirt? What kind of fashion statement is that? So we buy the tickets, go in and sit down. I notice a guy across the isle sitting with his wife. He has this huge tub of popcorn he is eating out of... Nothing shocking there, right? Well, he wasn't using his hands. he was gripping the tub with both hands, and just sticking his face into the tub and using his tongue to snatch up the shit. It reminded me of seeing those chameleons who dart their tongues out to snatch bugs. Eventually the movie started, and I knew from the first five minutes I was in the third layer of hell. Shark Tale has to be the worst movie I have seen in several, several years. Granted, neither Emily or I really wanted to see it, and weren't really expecting to enjoy it- we went for Riley. But if we knew it was going to be THAT bad, Riley would have been SOL. Completely unfunny, racist, demeaning, obnoxious and retarded are a few adjectives that come to mind in trying to relate the horridness of this film. I could think of more if I wanted to really dwell on it. To make matters worse, there was this girl in the seat behind me who was kicking my seat the entire time. I am not exagerating- it was constant. I leaned back three times to ask her to stop, and she acted like I wasn't even there.... so then I lean over my other shoulder to ask her mom (or grandmother perhaps, givin the gray hair) to control her child- again, not even a glance to acknowledge my presence. It never ceases to amaze me how disrespectful people are sometimes. Had this stupid bitch not been sitting in the back row, I would have moved seats behind her and starting kicking her seat relentlessly. It would have at least given me something to do besides sitting there sitting through such a horrid waste of film. But, Riley enjoyed the movie, and we only really went for him, so at least in that respect the evening fulfilled its purpose.
I am now off to the store to get the ingredients for Valentine's dinner for tomorrow- oven roasted duck with olive reduction sauce..... very very tasty.

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